Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other.
– Oscar Ameringer, “the Mark Twain of American Socialism.”
I offered my opponents a deal: “if they stop telling lies about me, I will stop telling the truth about them”.
– Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
– Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
– Charles de Gaulle, French general & President
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
– Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)
We hang petty thieves and appoint the bigger thieves to public office.
– Aesop, Greek slave & fable author
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
– Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
– Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become PM; I’m beginning to believe it.
– Quoted in ‘Clarence Darrow for the Defense’ by Irving Stone.
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
– John Quinton, American actor/writer
What happens if a politician drowns in a river? That’s pollution.
What happens if all of them drown?
That’s a solution ….!!
– anon
Heh Heh! 🙂
Little Johnny goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense.”
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand what politics is now.”
“Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are.”
The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.”